Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
