You're so nebulous sometimes
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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