Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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