i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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