Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
