Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
