That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
