I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
