I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How does one acquire holy water?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
