Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
