I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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