I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
