Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Two words: blizzard sex
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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