Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
