Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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