My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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