so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize