you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
