Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My dick has a subreddit
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
It's shark week go big or go home
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
