Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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