Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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