Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
