He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
