Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
