I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
