This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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