i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
