no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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