I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
These tits shall not be calmed
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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