Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
