craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
