They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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