He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
