I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
