Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
