"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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