and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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