i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
