sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
