I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
