You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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