You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
