Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize