At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
