You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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