don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
This is the high leading the old right now
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
