Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Randomize
