dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
