Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
