I look better un-naked...
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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