Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
