respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Text me some of your sweat
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
