8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
