No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
