I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
40s are totally the cure
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize