Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
