you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
