Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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