Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
