Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
