have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Shame - the story of my life.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
