dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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