She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
