I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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