yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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