Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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