Your face is a jimmy john
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
