the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
