Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
