please come you make the beer taste better
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
