So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize