Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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