I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
