just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Come on in and take your pants off
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