I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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