Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
