I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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