Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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