whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize