I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
