When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize